I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize