wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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