After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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