The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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