The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
