It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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