no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
