Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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