You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
