Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
