he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize