you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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