Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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