its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
