my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
