So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
