I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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