I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
