Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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