playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was confusing and full of hummus
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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