Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
