When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
