You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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