I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
