They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize