I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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