I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
