All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
