How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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