Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
