This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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