let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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