It's Friday. Sex?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
