Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
