I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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