I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
