Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate all girls vehemently.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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