no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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