Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am naked and annoyed.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize