He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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