yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
