it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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