If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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