Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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