Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
