ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
