i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
