GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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