if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
