Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
