Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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