I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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