Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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