so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
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I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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