So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
