She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
