you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
