im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
