Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
